This time around

Once again I will attempt to update life. Life is crazy and scary in an adventurous sort of way. I spent the summer up in Idaho. Turns out I gained some insight into being a "grown up" while I was there. I started the summer in misery because I was away from my amazing support system, my friends and family, who have carried me through some of the hardest moments of my life thus far. I was on my own and it turned out to be one of the most amazing oppurtunties that I have ever had. I grew! I showed myself that I could do it, that I was a capable young woman with the ability to "make it on my own". Although I was never completely alone. I relied on my faith and prayers to get me through some tough times.

Idaho was beautiful. I had mountains and lakes and trees and fresh air. All the things that I thought I had hated because I was from the city. I experienced swimming in a real lake, water skiing, and white water rafting for the first time. I did hiking, camping, fishing or rock climbing almost every other weekend, and I was able to get back to nature. I spent some nights sitting on the back porch watching storms, I put my feet in the river while I read a book, or I laid on the grass staring at clouds or stars. Nature has such a healing power. That healing power is simply from slowing down and seeing all the Beauty God has put around us.

My weekdays were spent doing what I love most....working with my kids. There is nothing more exciting then to see a child who may struggle with a difference take another step out of there comfort zone to accomplish something great, whether it be a social goal, overcoming a physical challenge or learning to explore the world around them! I loved seeing kids running around in the large open spaces, picking up bugs and getting a bit grimy. That is something that I really hadn't experience before. I'm from the city where kids are scared of bugs and there isn't fresh soil for the kids to dig in. We have parks, they have nature. I fell in love with the outdoors and I'm determined to get back to a place where I can live a life like that when the time comes that I will raise a future family.

I graduated with my bachelors and I'm back home now. While it isn't a disappointment it is an adjustment. I am out of school and I was unemployed. I took a job with a corporation. This is the first corporate position I've ever been in and I'm not doing so well with it. I don't think that any amount of money in this world could make this a dream job for me. I love waking up to a day where I get to do something for someone else and I definately don't feel like that is what I do here, but it pays the bills and the people I work with are pretty amazing.

As far as my next career step goes, graduate school is definately in the future. I know that in past blogs I have talked about getting my degree in education psychology or social work. That's not me...I'm pretty sure my path is clearly spelled out, but since there has been so many changes in my plans, I will wait until the path is clear before me before I say much else on the matter. I just know my future is with children in a therapy setting.

The trauma of divorce still lingers on. This is nothing that I'm complaining about. This is something that I'm determined to make it through so that I am a better person. When faced with a dating situation or a situation involving emotions from the opposite sex I have made some pretty silly mistakes in hopes of protecting my heart. I know that I will be okay one day, but for now I have alot I need to work on. It's like I'm sixteen again and dating for the first time (you know alot of awkward moments) but I will make it! Thanks to this situation of mine I have been able to meet some of the best women and make some incredible friends and put some perspective on my life as to who I am and what I am made of. I can't say this experience was awful. It made me who Heavenly Father knew I was capable of being and continues to have some influence of the decisions I make.

Finally...I have accomplished so many goals that I have placed before me, but I have still been missing a few because of lack of finances. Now that I don't have tuition to pay I can get to work on them. For the next few months i will be attempting to accomplish these goals. On my list, hiking Havasupai Falls in Arizona, traveling to at least three states that I have never been to before(and possible travel out of the country), and accomplishing my first triathlon. I have set a date for the triathlon; MAY 2011!